* Random facts and thoughts.

Facts:

1) If i had to be portrayed by Robert Mapplethorpe with all of my favourite things in the same picture it would be a very crowded picture. Does that make me an enthusiast? I guess. People often confuse that with lack of clarity in one's mind but it actually is, in this case, an excessive enthusiasm towards beauty in life and things. I don't know why i'm such an enthusiast of certain kind of things. What would i put in that picture? I'm not sure. But i would like to test the answer, one day i'll try to nit pick and i will ask Cesare to take a picture. He's not Robert Mapplethorpe but on the other hand I'm not Patti Smith.
(Her 'Just Kids' book would definitely be in the picture.)

2) I have not blogged about seeing Pavement live with my best friend and that's because writing needs to come to you, not the other way around. But it was special, I just want to make sure it's recorded.
Cesare handed me Pavement CD's one after the other and before anybody else had even noticed their existence, as it often happens with him. I loved to be part of this 'secret' world and i miss it sometimes, when it doesn't find me for a long time.
Seeing Pavement with Cesare was ...simply beautiful and something i probably can't even write about because the memories and the roots are too many and it's nice to keep them in my heart after all these years, though i will admit that when Atlas Sound paid Pavement a tribute with their "we dance" i hugged Cesare and tears of joy streamed down my face for the simple fact of having someone who knows me so well in my english life even for just three days. That's something i miss every day, every minute, every, every minute of my english life. It was beautiful.
And the fact that Nicola came with him too, that was also beautiful and it meant a lot to me. Being with them was "home" while it lasted. From the bus in the car park to the hostel in Bristol.
I guess i'll never quite find these feelings with the people i know over here: It has something to do with growing up together and sharing the 'beginning years'.

3) I have bought another six books which i probably will end up reading in a few years time. Why do I always keep on doing this??

4) Last week i have let someone very special pass me by. I don't know why i did it: I guess I'm not as free as i like to think that i am. And I also think it's for the best but it made me really sad.

5) Today I gave some money to a busker at Oxford circus tube: He was in the tunnels, playing his guitar, his voice reminded me of Chris Isaacs'. He didn't notice me until he heard the coins falling on other coins, he said thank you and I briefly looked at him. He saw i was sad, smiled and sang: "Pretty woman, won't you pardon me, Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see, Pretty woman
That you look lovely as can be Are you lonely just like me Wow
Pretty woman, stop a while
Pretty woman, talk a while
Pretty woman, give your smile to me". I walked away after I smiled at him, I felt recharged and back on sync with the things around me: Kindness of strangers.. The guy made my day.

6) I really want to do the "Night of one hundred records": will have to find the right people to do it with though. Someone from the Chelsea hotel would be ideal.

7) I'm buying way much more music than i can afford and I cannot feel guilty about it no matter how much I wish to.

* Absynthe Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.

Absynthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder(c)1999 by Jason Webley
After a couple glasses, The floorboards don't feel so secure. And I'm afraid I could really go down tonight. I'm out-numbered by the ashes, Held hostage by the door. And the air in here is so damn loud tonight.
But I've got this old four-by-six photograph, Your face pressed up against my shoulder, Little pools of salt mark where tears have dried. And I've got this big needle stuck in my chest, So deep it's starting to tickle. I'm a thousand miles from the chimera I chase. Love is a sadness with a face.
There's a darkness in all wanting, My intentions all feel stained, And the Devil keeps filling my glass tonight. My adrenaline is clotting, And the faces in here all seem strange. But I just want to touch something that'll last tonight.
If I could just taste one sip of an answer, Maybe I could break out of this drunkard's prison. I'm homesick for a place I might have never seen. Something more than these old feet brought me here, So these feet can't take me away. No I didn't get here on my own, Whoever brought me here's gonna have to bring me home.
I'm a thousand miles from the chimera I chase. Home is a sadness, not a place. 

* Songs to shave your head to.

When i finally met Robyn Tunney the first thing i said was: "I shaved my head because of you, my mum wasn't happy!" she laughed and i laughed and for a second that memory came back stronger than ever. But i had forgotten the film i did it to ("Empire records") and the song i chose playing in its background. 
It was "The ballad of El Goodo" and now, with my long locks, i want to celebrate for one moment that Martina who was a very cool girl, more than she knew, back then.  
She thought that having a big heart was complicated but never once she let go of it and I'm so proud of her...with my long locks.
I want to tell her that heart ever left, like she thought it was set to do.

<3 to "MattiMia" <3

(I also want to tell her one day the roles in this picture would totally reverse... and in permanent ink!!! ;)